Sticky Situations with Subordinates

George Gallup said, "Employees don't leave jobs, theyThe early 90's brought a plethora of literature about
leave managers." He discovered this fact afterdiscipline without punishment in an effort to show
surveying many workers in all kinds of industries. that discipline and punishment do not necessarily go
When he looked for what makes a job satisfying, hetogether.  In fact while disciplining, a good manager
discovered the primary factor was the boss.  If youlearns to communicate expected behaviors in an
have a bad, frustrating boss, you might leave youropen, clear, and direct manner.  To discipline, you
job even if it is a good job.  With the costs formust employ the principles of the SIJR Conversation,
hiring and training new people soaring each year,namely you want to create a two-way dialogue
organizations are looking for ways to retainabout what you expect and what is possible from
employees.  They pay people like Gallup to tell themboth the manager's and the employee's perspective. 
what factors keep people happy enough to stay inComing from an orientation of the Three
their jobs.  If you've ever had a job where you said,C's—curiosity, compassion and
"I really love my job, but my boss is driving mechange—managers with high EI scores excel as
crazy," then you understand how important it is fordisciplinarians.
bosses to learn how to deal with sticky situationsFactors Inherent in any Disciplinary Conversation
involving subordinates.State behaviors that must change.  When we
Daniel Goleman came up with a catchy concept calledspecify behaviors in the SIJR Conversation, we
Emotional Intelligence or EI.  In his book, Primalidentify the behaviors in a way that clearly
Leadership, he discovered that managers with a highcommunicates what we are talking about.  Example:
retention rate also have a high EI—a high score on"Mark, you have missed the deadline for two major
compassion, listening, and caring about others.  Inprojects.  When you didn't get the work to Janice in
fact if you think back on the managers you'vetime, we had to shelve the project.  It has caused
worked for in your life, what characteristics did theyus to lose two rather important jobs.  We must get
have?  Here are a few I recall: good listener, positiveyour end of the project completed two weeks
attitude about my work, would challenge me but notbefore deadline."  This example provides Mark with
beyond my limits, supportive, and enthusiastic. information about what behavior his boss expects as
Goleman found that managers who understoodwell as what problems his behavior caused.
feelings and emotions became more successfulKeep the Other Person in Mind.  In a disciplinary
leaders.  A high EI score means you are a managerconversation, we open our minds to understanding
who strives to learn more about yourself and yourmore than our side of the story.  Your organization
behaviors in order to improve your skills as a person,may have rules that may no longer prove
not just as a leader.  In essence, you learn to careproductive.  When you allow employees to share
about yourself and about others at the same time.their frustrations, you open up the possibility to the
How to Discipline Using the SIJR Modelexistence of administrative barriers that block
Given what Gallup learned about leaders and whatproductivity.  Example.  Mark responds, "I missed
Daniel Goleman tells us about Emotional Intelligence,both deadlines because I got the project data too
how can those of us who want to be goodlate.  Nathan couldn't get the data to me because his
managers effectively discipline employees?computer crashed."
Discipline carries a negative connotation fraught withSelect the Right Time and Place.  We all remember
memories of trips to the principal's office or ofour dread when our teachers sent us to the
scolding words from our parents.  An empatheticprincipal's office.  As children, we recognized the
manager with a high EI score might find discipliningprincipal's office as a place of power where we did
tough.  In answer to the question—how can wenot belong.  Before delivering the bad news, think
manage with compassion and still discipline—weabout the place and the time.  Find a place that feels
must understand exactly what discipline means.  Thesafe to the other person.  If you work in the world
word discipline comes from the Latin word diciplina,of cubicles, go to one of the conference rooms.
meaning disciple.  Wikipedia tells us that discipline hasBe careful not to share bad news when the person is
as its root discere "to learn," and derives fromexperiencing a personal crisis or about to give an
discipulus, or pupil.  A disciple, therefore, is a followerimportant presentation.  Select a time that will enable
or a student.  Similarly, to discipline someone meansyou to have an open dialogue.  If the time you
to teach that person.select adds pressure, the dialogue will shut down.