| What is the biggest communications challenge my | | | | your heart: |
| clients face? The simple answer is listening. My clients | | | | ? Really focus on the other person. What emotions |
| struggle with listening because their heads get in the | | | | do you hear? How does the voice sound? Lively, sad, |
| way. They grapple with ways to communicate their | | | | angry? |
| messages and often ask me about how to go about | | | | ? Don?t take what the other person says personally. |
| saying what they want to say the best way. As we | | | | Get out of the way of the message. Instead, ask |
| work through this question, the logical next question | | | | the person what he or she really means. Ask open, |
| surfaces: What is the other person saying? In answer | | | | probing questions to better understand what might |
| to this question, my clients say things like, ?They | | | | be going on. |
| want me to do something I don?t want to do? or | | | | ? Get next to the other person. Instead of trying to |
| ?They have different values than I do?, or ?They | | | | solve the problem - that?s above the person ? listen |
| don?t care about anything except their own agenda?. | | | | for where the person is. If your friend is hurting, feel |
| These kinds of responses tell me that my clients are | | | | the hurt with him. Don?t try and fix the hurt. If your |
| not listening with their hearts. They are listening with | | | | teenage daughter is angry at you, feel her anger |
| their heads. | | | | rather than defend yourself. |
| When our heads get in the way, we cannot hear. | | | | ? Use your intuition to hear the messages behind the |
| When we cannot hear, we cannot Say It Just Right. | | | | words. If you feel something inside, you are probably |
| Our heads say things like, ?The other person isn?t | | | | listening with your heart. Take a risk and share what |
| interested in what I have to say,? or ?The other | | | | you are feeling inside. ?I sense that you are afraid of |
| person is only concerned with their agenda,? or ?The | | | | your boss.? |
| other person doesn't like me.? Our heads tune out | | | | ? Practice using metaphors to explain your intuition or |
| the real messages and reinterpret what we hear. To | | | | to explain the other person?s feeling. Putting what |
| listen with your heart requires a different kind of | | | | we feel into a visual image helps us cope with it. ?As |
| listening. The Say It Just Right Model includes | | | | you talk, I keep getting this image of a deep, dark |
| ?inviting? the other person to talk. That part of the | | | | well. Tell me how that works for you.? Listening with |
| model requires you to really listen. | | | | your heart takes practice. The next time you feel |
| Before you can listen with your heart, you must | | | | frustrated with the way your communication is going, |
| decide you want to hear what the other person is | | | | get out of the way and let your heart take over. |
| saying. You must stop whatever you are doing and | | | | When your heart listens, you have a better chance |
| allow your natural antenna help you out. | | | | of Saying It Just Right. |
| Here are the steps you need to take to listen with | | | | |