| Is there someone you just can't seem to | | | | waiting for me to tell you how to change other |
| communicate with, who seems to be on a different | | | | people, I'm afraid you're in for a disappointment. |
| wavelength, a different planet even? Read this article | | | | What I'm actually going to do is get you to look at |
| to find out how to communicate with ease. | | | | your own contribution to this pattern. |
| 'The person with the most flexibility in thinking and | | | | Ask yourself: |
| behaviour has the most influence on any interaction.' - | | | | * In what ways do I react every time with this |
| NLP presupposition. | | | | person? |
| As the boss concentrating on reaching your | | | | * How does the interaction start? |
| department's goals it can be easy to fall into the trap | | | | * Then what happens? |
| of focusing on how other people need to change in | | | | * Then what happens? |
| order to reach those goals. | | | | Continue asking this last question until you have |
| Is there someone with whom you need to | | | | worked out the complete pattern that occurs when |
| communicate regularly but who always leaves you | | | | you try to communicate with this individual. |
| thinking you just haven't got through or made a | | | | Work out and recognise the parts you are playing |
| difference? They just don't seem to understand; | | | | which contribute towards and maintain the pattern. |
| their body language and attitude are all wrong; they | | | | Then ask yourself: |
| attempt to appease you by saying yes and no in the | | | | * How could I break this pattern? |
| right places but then fail to take action or change the | | | | * What could I do differently? |
| situation. Or perhaps they argue with you; or back | | | | * If I put myself in their position for a moment, what |
| off and go quiet; or blame someone else. And the | | | | is causing their reaction? |
| same thing happens each time. It's a pattern. | | | | * What is the best way to approach this person to |
| Throughout these exchanges you are thinking: | | | | change the reaction I normally get from them? |
| * He's got to change | | | | * How does this person need me to react in order |
| * Why isn't she listening to me? | | | | for them to behave differently? |
| * Why doesn't he ever seem to understand? | | | | The quote at the top of this article is worth |
| * Her attitude is really getting through to me | | | | repeating. It can be a very powerful idea if you take |
| * Why can't he see the big picture I'm describing? | | | | it on board: |
| * Why doesn't she take action about this situation? | | | | 'The person with the most flexibility in thinking and |
| If you identify with this scenario and you are now | | | | behaviour has the most influence on any interaction. |