| I recently read Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. In his | | | | not listening to your words, select words that will |
| book, Gladwell tells us how poor communication | | | | resonate with that person. Change the way you are |
| crashes airplanes. In other words, it's neither the | | | | communicating to grab the other person's attention. |
| weather nor mechanical difficulties that cause | | | | Pay attention to the other person's nonverbal |
| crashes, but poor communication and misguided | | | | messages. Filler words, "I think, maybe, I believe, |
| teamwork. When the pilot and the first officer do | | | | probably," suggest a lack of confidence. When you |
| not communicate clearly, when they do not act like a | | | | hear that lack of confidence, share your message. |
| team, airplanes go down. Imagine that! | | | | Don't doubt yourself. If you have something to |
| This led me to think about all the mishaps we have | | | | say, say it. You may be wrong, but it's better to get |
| that result from communication errors. Think about | | | | it out and to allow someone to consider the option, |
| the number of times we've hurt someone's feelings | | | | than to never say it. |
| by not listening or by sending the wrong message. | | | | Say what you need to say with confidence but |
| Think about the number of times projects in the | | | | without aggression. When others reject your ideas, |
| workplace get botched because teams do not | | | | do not take it personally. If you shared your |
| communicate well. Think about the number of sports | | | | suggestion or idea and it was dealt with openly, |
| events where stellar teams lose because they can't | | | | you've done your part. |
| act like a team or because their coaches forgot the | | | | If someone counters your idea with their own |
| basics of communication. | | | | knowledge, listen. Don't rebel because the idea was |
| As human beings, we relate to one another through | | | | someone else's, even if that person is not your |
| our communication-both verbal and nonverbal. In the | | | | superior. Do not let "rank" cloud your listening. |
| cockpit, those messages - when misinterpreted - | | | | Use good listening skills to force yourself to hear |
| result in disaster. Sometimes, outside the cockpit | | | | what the other person is saying. Paraphrase what |
| miscommunication can kill as well. For example, | | | | they said or probe with good open questions. Don't |
| imagine a doctor in the operating room. When the | | | | simply process the information in your head. |
| surgeon asks for an instrument, he must do so in | | | | Communication is interrelated. To achieve success |
| just the right way and that message must be | | | | with communication, we must recognize that we |
| interpreted correctly. The physician monitoring a heart | | | | need each other, i.e., I need you and you need me. |
| patient must communicate in clear and unequivocal | | | | We cannot communicate alone. |
| terms. | | | | Gladwell points out in his book that successful people |
| When I teach workshops related to communication | | | | must practice ten thousand hours to become |
| and teams, I often hear people say, I don't care | | | | successful in whatever it is they do. He also notes |
| what the other person thinks. We become angry or | | | | that it's not practice alone that makes a person |
| annoyed with the other person and we give up. | | | | successful. It's the right kind of practice. I would |
| Communication takes practice and patience. It takes | | | | venture to guess that most of us have |
| more energy than most of us give it. | | | | communicated much more than ten thousand hours. I |
| Gladwell gives several examples when the first | | | | would also note that most of us have not practiced |
| officer knew the pilot was making a deadly mistake, | | | | ten thousand hours of good communication. That's |
| but he did not communicate that message. Instead | | | | the challenge we face. Those of us, who lead others, |
| of saying, "This is an emergency. We must abort." | | | | must take communication seriously. We may not be |
| The first officer said, "I think we might need to | | | | flying a plane or performing surgery, but we are |
| change course." Notice the difference. Often, a slight | | | | trying to get through our days successfully. Good, |
| change in the way we communicate both verbally | | | | effective communication takes practice and a lot of |
| and nonverbally will drastically change the meaning. | | | | it. |
| Here are a few tips to help you communicate your | | | | I pray that my pilot and first officer on my next |
| message with confidence: | | | | flight will have logged in many more than ten |
| When you recognize that the other person is | | | | thousand hours of good communication! |